There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
