Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
