I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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