What did we do last night that was yellow?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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