I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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