You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
