I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
