Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
