I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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