just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
