Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize