I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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