Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
