last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
