he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
