I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
