He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
there is glitter all over my balls
I had to cum in my sink.
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