We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
