Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
