Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
