were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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