There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
