The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
