Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
