oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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