Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
