The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I did not marry a roomba.
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