I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
