i permit you to call me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
