I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize