is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
