Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
