He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
