sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
