nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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