So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
