At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When are your genitals available?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
