But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
is your mom at the bar?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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