What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize