I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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