Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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