He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
