please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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