we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Come see our sink grown plant.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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