Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
handjob tips. give me some.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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