Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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