dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
