He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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