He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
