A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
