i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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