it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
