lets start a swedish sibling band together
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
