So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
