doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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