1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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