I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
