I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
