And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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