He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
