the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
