I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
